Meaningless, inoffensive apple blossoms are bound to break my heart

So this week I'm basically hanging on to a thread, alternating between day-to-day-life-related oblivion (I still need to change diapers, put LP to bed every night, ensure that my consulting company's taxes are filed, attend parent-teacher meetings at daycare, purchase presents for a friends' kid birthday party and my nephew's christening which fall on the same day right after we come back, etc.) and little moments of panic. These moments occur when I don't feel occupied and in control, usually when I'm stuck in traffic or when I wake up too early in the morning. I don't panic about the wedding in itself or the fact that I'm marrying M. It's not cold feet at all, how could it be when we're already so deeply committed? I panic about stupid little things. Like how we're going to be able to get there early enough and have everything set up and ready for 2 PM next Sunday, knowing that we won't come back home for a week after and that we cannot forget anything. How everyone will be able to make it on time and not get lost -don't laugh, it's pretty far from civilization. But most of all, I worry about the apple trees blossoming.

So OK it's a relatively minor thing. Even if the trees are not in bloom, the springtime outdoor setting will still be nice, and everyone will still be able to enjoy the apple drinks the orchard produces. But we basically based the date on the probability of these blossoms, and I realize now how it matters to me. Because if it works out, it would not only be nice but truly magical and unforgettable, both in sight and smell...

Since here in the city we're very close to blossoming time, I began to be scared that if the process would actually happen too early, the delicate blossoms might not make it until the 17th (one big slightly windy rainfall and they're gone). The season has been so nice, my only concern was that we would be too far ahead this year.

I emailed them for reassurance, knowing that their biologists are usually able to predict the blossoming time pretty accurately. And I was very surprised when they said that it would likely be between the 17th and the 29th this year. I had not taken slight changes in climate into consideration. So in fact, our wedding day is the earliest day in their predicted range.

Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but I think it pretty much rules it out for us. I don't know how their calculation works, but it probably means that within this range, the highest probability is smack in the middle, with only a remote chance of it happening much earlier or later than that. Sigh...

When setting the date, we had a choice of two weekends, and we picked the 17th because the next day is a statutory holiday. Now I'm beginning to think we should have picked the next one to be more sure about those blossoms. I always knew that it could never be a sure thing, but I'm so disappointed nonetheless. To come so close and to not get it... Of course I know in the end it won't change a thing and it's not the reason why our guests will show up, but...

Here I am. I think it's really time this wedding happens. I'm turning into an obsessive whiny irrational bride just like the ones I laugh at on TV!